Happy minds

December 21, 2012

2010-10-25T17:05:00.002+02:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Folks, it's very simple. A lot will happen on December 21, 2012. So many things will happen in this infinite universe, it's just to much for the human mind to comprehend. On this planet, people will die, people will be born.
The same will be true for December 20 and December 22, 2012.
But if you ask me, nothing special will happen on 21 December 2012. Unless you make it so! And you can! Just be extra nice to everybody around you on that day, and it will be very special, even though no extra-ordinary change will occur.

How to get the best mobile phone for free!

2010-02-14T15:17:00.006+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Is your mobile phone subscription ending soon? And is your provider already sending you great offers on the new Nokia N900, the Samsung Jet and the Apple Iphone?
Here's a great idea to consider.
Take the cheapest subscription you can get. A so called "sim only" solution. Use the phone that you already have that still functions perfectly, or buy a simple model from your favourite brand, spend a 100 Euro or dollar or whatever you think is necessary and whatever you can afford right now.
So now you are spending maybe 10 Euro a month in stead of 30. That means, every month you are saving 20 Euro! So here comes the great part! You can transfer 10 of the 20 Euros you are now saving to your favourite charity cause, like WNF, Foster Parents, or one of the causes you find on this blog. Then still you have 10 Euro a month to buy your father, mother or best friend a nice gift. Plus you do not have to worry about that excessively expensive device getting stolen, broken or not performing in the way you want!
And imagine, that while your life is just as comfortable as it was before, now a kid in Nigeria, Nepal or Peru is wearing shoes and is able to go to school, all because of you! That great feeling, that is reinforced every month, every time you see a little money transferred from your account to that good cause, that cannot come from any phone in the world. Think about it!
And if your friends comment on your phone, saying that you have an outdated model and therefore you are not cool: just explain them how you care more for the planet and helping people in poverty than for another fashion gadget. See how they like that! If you tell it without lecturing them, just being proud of your own actions, then maybe some friends will even follow your example. In that way, you will have the best mobile phone ever, consider it!

Happiness and humility

2010-02-14T15:13:00.003+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

A lot of stress comes from feeling that you really should have had something, but somehow you didn't get it. It applies to all sorts of things, relationships, cloths, jobs, the list is endless.
For example, that special guy you really liked. Or the girl whom was smiling so sweetly. What always seems to happen? Your best friend, who didn't even really like that person, steps in and gets what you should have had. And then isn't even happy with it!
Buddha Siddhartha Gautama explained how this is not just one of the downsides of life, it is something much more fundamental. He explained this in the four noble truths:
People suffer because their minds are not at ease. Their minds are not at ease because they constantly want things that are not possible. They want to be somewhere they are not, or they want what they have to last forever. Wanting things to be perfect all the time causes suffering. So, suffering is caused by wanting things. So isn't it logical, that in order to end suffering, you have to ease down on the part of wanting things?
Buddha proposed a lifestyle that helps easing the pain. A lifestyle based on some simple rules. He called this the eightfold path, what comes down to putting down some simple guidelines that one can follow in order to reduce the painful craving.
You can find many websites explaining the eightfold path, and I don´t want to add yet another repetition to all that. What I would like, is to give you a hand in how to step into the eight noble truths in such a way that they do not feel like yet another harness that restrains your freedom and therefore can only decrease your well being.
I think the key is to start with a little humility. It is very simple really. Humility means being humble. It means leaving the possibility open that you are not all that great as you think you are. That you are not that successful person as you present yourself to the outside world. That deep down inside, like everybody else, you do not have a clue about who you are, what life really is, what it means to get born and what it means to die. That really you do not have so much control over your anger, your lust, your jealousy and pride. It sometimes seems to rule your life, and deep down, that is really not how you want it. Maybe deep down really you want to be a person that is loved, praised by all as the best friend one could have, deep down you want to be seen as the solution to human suffering. But in reality it seems you couldn't be further from that then you are know, isn't it?
Well, if you allow yourself to stay with the discomfort these doubts - that are inherent to the human condition – cause in your mind, then all of a sudden humility does seem to make a little more sense, doesn't it? If you are not all that great, then maybe you shouldn't be wanting all those things all the time. Maybe it would be much more sensible to spend more time on giving in stead of wanting. Because in the end, if you want to be that loving person, that friend that everybody wants to have, there should be cause for that to happen! And that cause can only be that you become that person that you really want to be in reality! And since wanting things all the time and being displeased with what you do not have all time really does not seem to be the answer, maybe you should try to let that go a little bit.
With a mind opened by a little healthy doubt, a little humility caused by admitting what really goes on in your life, I think the eightfold path as laid down by the Buddha, makes a lot more sense. It is not a harness. It is actually a very gentle, peaceful way of letting go of all your painful craving. Buddha has said that if one gradually, that means step by step, bit by bit, enters the eightfold path, then all human suffering (so all human craving) will cease.
Hope this makes a little sense to you!

Up!

2010-01-02T16:02:00.003+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

The new Disney-Pixar movie UP definitely made me very happy. This piece of animated art is so colorful, so full of life, it just left me speachless. And it definitely contains the ingredients for true happiness: following your dreams, which may bring friendship without grasping or clinging, just pure from the heart.

Spirituality, why bother?

2009-11-29T16:36:00.009+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!
Lama Yeshe.

Isn't spirituality another word for frustrating business? I mean, what really seems to be the problem? Why are people not happy exactly the way they are? It seems to me that often people are not happy about what they are, aren't, have and what they don't have.

If things get downright frustrating, how would you like to have a switch? One that you could flip, and instantly feel total acceptance and peace with yourself and the circumstances you're in. That would be something, wouldn't it? Well, if you feel any attraction to such a switch, you're not alone I guess. Something that can turn off jealousy, anger, impatience and dissatisfaction forever... Wow! Trying to find solutions for things that are not satisfactory takes a lot of energy. A lot of what one can do in a day, can be consumed by this kind of thinking.

For example. Let's say your boss compliments you on a job well done. Feeling delighted you immediately get loads of satisfaction. You feel at rest, in peace and confident that you have found your dream-job. But lets say that after a while, a big project you're working on fails. Maybe you have not been paying enough attention, being content and all... And now that same praising-you-into-heaven-employer is now telling you that you are one step away from being fired!
That's life. You try to hold on to the good things, and struggle to get away from the bad things. So, let's get spiritual! Let's try to fix this situation! Say mantras like “I am accepting myself the way I am and all bad things go away...”, “Om mani padme hung, I am Buddha...”

Yeah! That feels good! Finally you're doing something about the very core of your problems! Your negative thinking, that needs to be cured! Not the circumstances, no, that's all clear. But what if you could change yourself, become a better, new and improved you! If you change, finally all circumstances will be just right! Yes, now finally this is a way to change the world around you into paradise!

Well, my friend, this all sounds very good. But still this is not a peaceful situation, isn't it? Instead of feeling peace, enlightenment and enjoyment, you are now working hard to clean your spirits. Is this relaxing at all? Is it ever going to end? Will there be some distant moment in the far away future where you can rest assure and find yourself ending your project, being able to say: well, guys, this was a long, hard fight, but now, finally, I'm thru! Palm-trees are all around me even while doing my job at some boring old office and angels fly around my head when my husband is screaming at me for not having his dinner prepared in time.

You know, I guess the problem is: that meddling in your head, and the resulting dissatisfaction, discomfort and restlessness; finding a cure, isn't that creating another bottomless pit? You want to relax, open up and feel more at ease, and you try to achieve that by getting tight up in prayer, meditation, Ayahuasca-drinking and candle-burning.

So, maybe sometimes you'll tell yourself: Just lighten up, damned! As much as I can! Right now! I want to stop fighting! Hmmm, but I have to be careful not to create more tension in getting rid of my tension... On the other hand, the way I'll feel two years from now totally depends on the amount of effort I put into this. But putting a lot of effort in this is likely to stress me out; isn't that a funny paradox? Like I said when I started this posting, spirituality seems like frustrating business to me...

Maybe you will like what Lama Yeshe has to say about all this.

Exercise 15: Using mental imagery

2009-05-10T16:02:00.002+02:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

From: Happiness - Matthieu Ricard

When a powerful feeling of desire, envy, pride, aggression,
or greed plagues your mind, try to imagine
situations that are sources of peace. Transport yourself
mentally to the shores of a placid lake or to a high
mountaintop overlooking a broad vista. Imagine
yourself sitting serenely, your mind as vast and clear
as a cloudless sky, as calm as a windless ocean.
Experience this calmness. Watch your inner tempests
subside and let this feeling of peace grow anew in
your mind.

Understand that even if your wounds
are deep, they do not touch the essential nature of
your mind, the fundamental luminosity of pure consciousness.

Exercise 14: How to begin to meditate

2009-05-04T21:47:00.003+02:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

From: Happiness - Matthieu Ricard

No matter what your outer circumstances might be,
there is always, deep within you, a potential for flourishing.
This is a potential for loving-kindness, compassion,
and inner peace. Try to get in touch with and
experience this potential that is always present, like a
nugget of gold, in your heart and mind.
This potential needs to be developed and matured
in order to achieve a more stable sense of well-being.
However, this will not happen by itself. You need to
develop it as a skill. For that, begin by becoming more
familiar with your own mind. This is the beginning of
meditation.
Sit quietly, in a comfortable but balanced posture.
Whether you sit cross-legged on a cushion or more
conventionally on a chair, try to keep your back
straight, yet without being tense. Rest your hands on
your knees or thighs or in your lap, keep your eyes
lightly gazing in the space in front of you, and breathe
naturally. Watch your mind, the coming and going of
thoughts. At first it might seem that instead of diminishing,
thoughts rush through your mind like a waterfall.
Just watch them arising and let them come and
go, without trying to stop them but without fueling
them either.
Take a moment at the end of the practice to savor
the warmth and joy that result from a calmer mind.

After a while your thoughts will become like a peaceful
river. If you practice regularly, eventually your
mind will easily become serene, like a calm ocean.
Whenever new thoughts arise, like waves raised by the
winds, do not be bothered by them. They will soon
dissolve back into the ocean.

Exercise 13: Distinguishing happiness from pleasure

2009-03-26T19:01:00.004+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

From: Happiness - Matthieu Ricard

Bring to your mind a past experience of physical pleasure,
with all its intensity. Remember how you enjoyed
it at first and then how it gradually changed
into a neutral feeling and maybe even waned into lassitude
and lack of interest. Did it bring you a sense of
inner or lasting fulfillment?
Then remember an occasion of inner joy and happiness.
Recall how you felt, for example, when you
made someone else really happy, or when you peacefully
enjoyed the company of a loved one or the sight
of beautiful natural scenery. Consider the lasting effect
this experience had on your mind and how it still
nourishes a sense of fulfillment. Compare the quality
of such a state of being with that of a fleeting sensation
of pleasure.

Learn to value these moments of deep well-being and
aspire to find ways to develop them further.

Helpful information

2009-03-15T02:32:00.003+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

We are living in times of unimaginable evil. Instead of helping each other out, an enormous obsession with fancy mobile phones, fast cars, villas, private swimming pools and overflowing bank accounts has arisen.

Stealthy forces try to “steal our minds”. By showing us tremendously infantile pictures of how things should be - so-called “commercials” - that actually are nothing more then greed transformed to a visible image.

This turmoil, is similar to a storm in a glass of water. There’s nothing to it. It’s just ignorance, wrong views, leading to a lack of compassion.

We are full of compassion. Humans are born with an innate talent for that skill. The only reason for our ignorance, is because we choose to be so. We choose to be so, because we are like little children, playing in the woods. We have lost our way, and we are trying to get back to the village. Instead of using logic, we try to use force, but that isn’t working too well, is it?

So, cool down, get your sanity and yourself back together. Stop wasting your live, and lets start creating a future that’s similar to a dream instead of a nightmare.

I’ve found some really helpful information that may provide you with some tools sufficient for achieving this task ahead, and you can find it here!

Exercise 12: Developing attention

2009-03-11T23:11:00.004+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

From: Happiness - Matthieu Ricard

Sit quietly in your meditation posture and focus all
your attention upon a chosen object. It can be an object
in your room, your breath, or your own mind.
Inevitably as you do this, your mind will wander.
Each time it does, gently bring it back to the object of
concentration, like a butterfly that returns again and
again to the flower it feeds on. As you persevere, your
concentration will become more clear and stable. If
you feel sleepy, assume a straighter posture and lift
your gaze slightly upward to revive your awareness.
Conversely, if your mind becomes agitated, relax your
posture, direct your gaze slightly downward, and let
any inner tension dissolve.

Cultivating attention and mindfulness in this way is a
precious tool for all other kinds of meditation.

Exercise 11: Examining the causes of happiness

2009-02-23T15:05:00.005+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

From: Happiness - Matthieu Ricard

Take a quiet moment alone and try to find out what
really makes you happy. Is your happiness derived
mainly from outer circumstances? How much of it is
due to your state of mind and the way you experience
the world? If happiness comes from outer circumstances,
check how stable or fragile they are. If it is due
to a state of mind, consider how you can further cultivate
it.

Three Methods for Working with Chaos

2009-01-28T12:46:00.002+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Times of chaos and challenge can be the most spiritually powerful . . . if we are brave enough to rest in their space of uncertainty. Pema Chödrön describes three ways to use our problems as the path to awakening and joy.

Sometimes late at night or on a long walk with a friend, we find ourselves discussing our ideas about how to live and how to act and what is important in life. If we're studying Buddhism and practicing meditation, we might talk of no-self and emptiness, of patience and generosity, of loving-kindness and compassion. We might have just read something or heard some teachings that turned our usual way of seeing things upside down. We feel that we've just reconnected with a truth we've always known and that if we could just learn more about it, our life would be delightful and rich.

We tell our friends of our longing to shed the huge burden we feel we've always carried. We suddenly are excited and feel it's possible. We tell our friend of our inspiration and how it opens up our life. "It is possible," we say, "to enjoy the very same things that usually get us down. We can delight in our job, delight in riding the subway, delight in shoveling snow and paying bills and washing dishes."

You may have noticed, however, that there is frequently an irritating, if not depressing, discrepancy between our ideas and good intentions and how we act when we are confronted with the nitty-gritty details of real life situations.

Read more...

Covering the world in leather

2009-01-25T18:25:00.009+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

What is keeping you from being happy? Not being able to find the right friends, partner, job, money, car or house? Is someone bugging you? Are your spouse and/or children or any other nasty human beings depriving you from happiness? Whatever it is, consider this story.

“A man was wandering through a vast, burning hot desert, full of sharp-edged stones. A couple of weeks before, he had decided to leave all his belongings behind, and seek his happiness. On leaving, all people in his village wished him good luck and all the best. He had felt elated and left in a sunny mood.
Now, his condition was quite the opposite. He felt horrible, the sun was beating down on his head and he was sweating profusely. But worst of all where his feet; the red-hot sand was blistering his soles and the razor-edged stones where cutting the skin. When looking down, he could see blood staining his robes. The sun was at its peak. He was close to bursting into tears, but envisioning his half empty canteen, he refrained from that.
All of a sudden, he noticed a small speck of shade behind a large boulder. Kneeling down, he found some respite from all torments. A sip of luke-warm water made him regain his senses and he started thinking about his quest for happiness again. He reasoned that his past, he could never change. Considering the possibility of unforeseen events, trying to control the future was a tedious task too. That left the now. Maybe he could do something to change his present situation! In order to find happiness - he had to do nothing more but indicate the obstacle keeping him from bliss right now, and get that obstacle out of the way! Sitting there, resting and considering his options, he noticed a cave nearby. Weary he got up, and stumbled to the aperture. Looking inside, to his surprise he found a large heap of leathery hides. Instantly, it all made sense! The greatest hindrance keeping him from happiness, was the torment of his feet. If he could just stop the burning sand and razor-sharp rocks cutting and blistering his soles, he would be happy! And the solution was right in front of him… All he had to do, was take this huge stack of leather sheets, and start covering the nasty terrain outside! Enthusiastically, he started to drag the leather sheets out of the crevice. He worked all day, and the next day, and many days after that. The stack seemed interminable, and his work progressed steadily. A small stream of fresh water in the cave kept him alive. But of course, one day, he ran out of hides. The cave he had found was completely empty. Looking outside, he pondered that considering the proportions of the desert, he had only covered a very small peace of land. At that moment, it started to rain. It rained for many days, and as he hid in his cave, he saw a large flood of water rise and wash all of the hides away. When finally the rain stopped, he looked outside, and nothing remained but one leather sheet. Having no other options to him, he cut the sheet in half, tied one peace to his left foot, and one peace to his right foot. Thinking that this would not be of much help, he found that from that day on, his feet where protected from harm! He was able travel indefinitely, without ever hurting his feet.”

Trying to find happiness by trying to create the ideal circumstances, is like trying to cover the world in leather. Happiness can be found in love, compassion and friendship, and those are qualities you can only find inside yourself. Do something about the hatred, jealousy, fear, pride, ignorance, arrogance, deceit, lust and craving you find in yourself, and circumstances will change according to your effort.

The Abyss

2009-01-22T18:11:00.006+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Imagine yourself falling down from a cliff, into a pitch-dark abyss... You just know you are falling, you don’t know whether the ride will ever end! Imagine that you keep falling and falling, and no rock bottom ever seems to appear! Probably, after a while, you’ll start to relax, what else can you do? You may even start thinking that the fact that falling always ends up with crashing, is a myth, simply not true, proven to you by the fact that you keep falling without hitting the ground.
Now imagine that you see others around you falling down too. You can still not see the end of your own fall, but occasionally you do see others breaking every bone in their body while crashing into the soil. Well... you reason... if everybody around me is falling, and all seem to crash in the end, I will most probably crash as well. But still, it seems to take such a long time – how can I be troubled by that? Why not spend my falling time any way I like, eating whatever I like, smoking, drinking and snorting whatever I like, endlessly watch TV, maybe even start annoying and distressing other fallers, by competing with them: watch me stretch my legs while I fall, I can do that much better than you, therefore I should eat, drink and sleep better than you while falling!
Well, and now imagine that all of a sudden, the bottom does appear! While pain and agony start to eat your flesh, you know that now it’s for sure, you will eventually perish and nothing you are and have been will remain. Nothing. Not an inch. Maybe some other falling souls will think of you. For some time. But eventually, your body and everything you have been guarding so anxiously during your fall, will not exist any longer. Just the atoms of your body will remain, as plants, birds, humans, excrement, salt in the sea...
Of course, this story is about life. Life is just like this! You ARE falling in a dark abyss, but you only realize that on an abstract level. Truth is: life can end ANY moment! And it really does not matter how you fall – or live your life. On the level of the senses, it seems there’s only this Universe, and it can support your life and that of others for only some time, in any way you like. It can provide you with relaxation and happiness, or with pain and anger. It’s all up to you. In the end you will die, that’s for sure. Maybe there’s a God, Heaven, Hell, Reincarnation, Ancestors spirits, whatever, nobody really seems to know for sure. You can only believe things are in a certain way. However, consider this:
If there’s a Heaven and a Hell, you’ll end up in endless misery if waste your chances. If there’s reincarnation, you’ll make another being – based on your soul – miserable for countless eons. If there’s just nothing, you have wasted absolutely every change you’ll ever have to feel good, to enjoy life!
We people are like poor beggars, sitting on an enormous treasure-chest, not realizing what life could be if we would just make the effort. We all feel in some way that love, friendship and security are the things we want, the things we need, but we just do not make the effort to realize these in our own lives!
Just become aware of the fact that it is possible to give life your best try ever! Be friendly, and make friends. Be full of love, and feel loved. Be generous, and receive lots of happiness. Give, give, give, and make a good effort to stop craving for a reward! If you feel bad, unable, nervous, anxious, depressed, realize that:
1. these feelings will pass
2. many people have these feelings, feel connected to them, have some compassion for them! You know how bad it feels, so realize in what condition people around you must be!
3. The best way out of misery is to stop creating more misery. Do something positive, there are so many people, animals and objects that desperately need your love and attention! Open your heart!

Happiness and Kindness

2009-01-17T13:26:00.007+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

"One of the main points is kindness. With kindness, with love and compassion, with this feeling that is the essence of brotherhood, sisterhood, one will have inner peace. This compassionate feeling is the basis of inner peace." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Kindness is not something difficult. On the contrary, being kind is very easy! It doesn’t take more then a smile, a small compliment or a little help with carrying groceries, to give another person the feeling that he or she is appreciated and supported. Being kind is so very easy, it can be done throughout the day without causing any fatigue or inconvenience! All living beings long for kindness, so it is never wasted or spoiled.

Of course, we all have this enormous Ego that stands in the way.
“If he or she isn’t kind to me, why should I be kind?”
“I want to be kind to that person, but then he or she acts in this or that way and instead I get mad!”
“If people wouldn’t be so nasty, I could be more kind to them!”

In the end, this kind of thinking comes down to the basic assumption: I cannot give because I do not receive. “Only a fool brings water to the desert”. Well, we all have good and bad characteristics. Spending a lot of time considering negative traits in yourself and/or others, is quite an effective way to create discord, quarrels and dissatisfaction.
In stead, putting some effort in being kind to others contains many opportunities for tolerance, forbearance, friendship and love.

Kindness is like an enormous well. All people are little streams that feed this well. If more and more people dare to open their heart and try to be kind, the well will flood. It will devour all little streams so we can feel connected and easily flush the pain caused by selfishness.

Kindness doesn’t cost you anything, so why would anyone want to tightfistedly persevere in unkind behavior? It really doesn’t make much sense! Of course, long term behavioral patterns are hard to burst, but if you decide to be kind to someone at least one time a day, and gradually increase your kind behavior, this might make a huge difference on the long run!

Read some kindness quotes...

Happiness and Science

2009-01-09T13:41:00.006+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Can people increase their level of happiness—and experience associated benefits to health—by learning and practicing meditation as a skill? The answer appears to be yes, says Richard J. Davidson, Ph.D., of the University of Wisconsin (UW)-Madison. Based on his research, Dr. Davidson likens meditation to certain other trainable skills that produce changes in the brain and body, such as playing a musical instrument or being proficient in a sport. His research group has studied meditation extensively in subjects ranging from Tibetan Buddhist monks who have meditated intensively for decades to college students with no previous meditation experience.

Read more...

Matthieu Ricard—a geneticist, Buddhist monk, author, and photographer—comes to Madison from Nepal to be studied by Dr. Davidson's team. Here, he has been fitted with a "net" of EEG electrodes.
© Waisman Brain Imaging Lab

Happiness today - Death tomorrow

2009-01-09T13:02:00.002+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Working on your happiness has to start NOW. Today, not tomorrow. For who knows what tomorrow will bring? We will all die! You may perish today, tomorrow or in a couple of years. Fact is: you have NO assurances! Your angle on the matter of death does not make any difference: death will always creep up on you, surprise you in your sleep or wake, no matter what age you are, what you own or who is with you.
Many people spend almost all their time worrying about their old age, career, the long term consequences of their relationships, insurances…

How much time are you “wasting”? The future is just as uncertain as the past, so consider spending your time on issues that have to be dealt with right now. Like resolving your anger, greed, jealousy, narrow mindedness...

Listen to what the great sage Shantideva, from the 8th century a.d. has to say about it (from The Bodhicaryavatara, Chapter Two: The Confession of Error)

32. How shall I escape it? Rescue me quickly! May death not soon creep up on me before my vices have vanished!

33. Death does not differentiate between tasks done and undone. This traitor is not to be trusted by the healthy or the ill, for it is like an unexpected, great thunderbolt.

34. I have committed various vices for the sake of friends and enemies. This I have not recognized: "Leaving everyone behind, I must pass away."

35. My enemies will not remain, nor will my friends remain. I shall not remain. Nothing will remain.

36. Whatever is experienced will fade to a memory. Like an experience in a dream, everything that has passed will not be seen again.

37. Even in this life, as I have stood by, many friends and enemies have passed away, but terrible sin induced by them remains ahead of me.

38. Thus, I have not considered that I am ephemeral. Due to delusion, attachment, and hatred, I have sinned in many ways.

39. Day and night, a life span unceasingly diminishes, and there is no adding to it. Shall I not die then?

40. Although lying here on a bed, and relying on relatives, I alone have to bear the feeling of being cut off from my vitality.

41. For a person seized by the messengers of death, what good is a relative, and what good is a friend? At that time merit alone is a protection, and I have not applied myself to it.

42. O Protectors, I, negligent, and unaware of this danger, have acquired many vices out of attachment to this transient life.

43. One completely languishes while being led today to have the limbs of ones body amputated. Parched with thirst, and with pitiable eyes, one sees the world differently.

44. How much more is one overpowered by the horrifying appearances of the Messengers of Death as one is consumed by the fevers of terror, and smeared with a mass of excrement?

45. With distressed glances, I seek protection in the four directions. Which good person will be my protection from this great fear?

46. Seeing the four directions devoid of protection, I return to confusion. What shall I do in that state of great fear?

Exercise ten: feeling more compassion

2008-12-27T10:18:00.011+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

*Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion

Exercise 10: feeling more compassion
This exercise is very similar to exercise 6, but a lot shorter and described a little different this time.

Remember a time you felt completely connected to someone. Do you agree that this was a very good, warm, healthy feeling? Maybe you feel this right now for someone. For a friend, a relative, your partner, your kids, or for your pet. This feeling is a great source of happiness! However, generally it seems that having this feeling is restricted to a certain few in your direct environment.
However, can you imagine what happens if you spend 10 minutes every day, cultivating this feeling and then sending it to all people around you, instead of to just a few?

You might say: cultivate it? How can you cultivate something like an emotion, it has to happen spontaneously! Well, if you are willing to do a little experiment, you might change your mind about that.
It’s a very simple experiment. Just sit with your eyes closed. If you feel lots of stress, try to do the breathing exercise described in exercise 3. Once you feel calm, neutral, and able to sit comfortably for a few minutes, just start thinking of the friends, relatives, children and/or animals you feel connected with. Try to imagine a bright, precise picture of them in your minds eye. See them smiling, see how they care for you. Pay close attention to what you feel. Maybe you’ll feel some warmth in your chest, maybe a tingling feeling in your stomach, or maybe you’ll just notice how you start to relax. Go on imagining this, until the feeling is quite strong.
When it’s strong enough for you, think of someone that doesn’t belong in your circle of beloved ones. Somebody that invokes a neutral feeling. Try to hold on to that feeling you had just an instant ago while imagining your beloved ones. If that’s hard, imagine that this person, that you do not have these feelings for, also has a circle of kith and kin. Try to see how this person is struggling, just like you, to keep his or her head above the water. Try to see how this person tries to be a friendly, warm human being to others. And if you can still not feel that same warmth for this person now, try to see this person going through lots of pain, loneliness and depression. Try to see how this person needs other people.
For most people, this exercise produces a small, but noticeable result the first time they do it. If you would do it every day for two weeks, you would notice that it gets a lot easier and very enjoyable! If you would do it for a couple of months, you might start to notice that your relating to people around you tends to get warmer and healthier. Of course, to some extent it depends on your determination to let this feeling penetrate your daily consciousness. But this can be trained! Studies on people who have done many hours of this training, show that it can make you very happy.

Compassion for Yourself and Others

2008-12-24T07:15:00.005+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Author: Pema Chödrön

In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves.

In particular, to care about other people who are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kinds, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish, mean —you name it— to have compassion and to care for these people, means not to run from the pain of finding these things in ourselves. In fact, one's whole attitude toward pain can change. Instead of fending it off and hiding from it, one could open one's heart and allow oneself to feel that pain, feel it as something that will soften and purify us and make us far more loving and kind.

Read more

How to deal with depression

2008-12-21T20:16:00.008+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Lets say your about to sink into a deep, smothering, morbid depression. You recognise the symptoms: you’re going down. You feel like a fish in a net: the more you flounder, the more you get trapped. There’s just nothing you can do. You’ve tried every remedy you know, or maybe your already to far down to try anything. Maybe you’ve looked at some positive images, you viewed some nice films on how beautiful our earth is. You tried to enjoy yourself with some kith and kin. You’ve done all meditation practices you’re familiar with. It might be you’ve taken some painkillers, a little herb, alcohol or other substances that help to ease the pain. Nothing helps.

Let me start this posting by conveying my sympathy to you. I may not know you, I may not be aware of any of your troubles, and my life may seem extremely comfortable compared to yours. I can only tell you from my heart: I’ve been there. I know what it’s like. It just hurts beyond imagination. It hurts to loose people and things. It hurts to do bad things to others, or to be a victim. It hurts to feel guilty and inadequate. It hurts to see yourself wasting all your precious time on gloom. It hurts not to be able to join the party. It hurts not to be able to love your kin. It just hurts.

OK. Now it would be very nice if I could offer you something that would instantaneously solve your ordeal. Probably I cann't. But let me give it a try. There’s some simple exercises on this blog that may interest you, and may help a little. Also, I want to give you some advise that seems to help me (sometimes ;-)).

First of all, realise that you are not the only one feeling like this. It helps to do a simple visualisation exercise: just try to see as many people as you can in your minds eye, the surroundings is not that important. Know that all these people are going through times similar to what you are experiencing now. Know that some even suffer more than you do right now. Try to feel some compassion, a little commiseration. Know that they too are really desperate. Know that they too are not able to get a grip.

Second, realise that everything on earth is impermanent. 80 million years ago, the Himalayan mountains did not exist. However, nowadays the highest mountain on earth is found right there. In another 80 million years, the Himalaya mountains probably do not exist any longer, there may be desert instead, or no planet at all! If even mountains rise and perish, have some faith that the same principle of appearing and disappearing applies to your problems. Think of all the problems all living creatures on this planet ever had. And think of what is left of those problems now. Your situation is real. Your problem is you’re believing it will stay this way.

Third, if you can bring yourself to it: do something positive, anything. Go to a park, bless all the pigeons, whish them a long, healthy, happy life. Give a little money to somebody who really needs it. Do a chore for an old grumpy neighbour that everybody dislikes. It will not solve your problem, but it helps to battle the thoughts concerning worthlessness. It helps, because every time you start thinking: I am worthless, you can proof yourself that this is just not true, because at least you’ve been kind to the pigeons, a beggar or a neighbour in need.

Last but not least: as soon as you’re able to, stop spending your time on going in your home devised circus attraction. By that I mean: try to stop repeating the same black, heavy and good-for-nothing thought-patterns! Distract yourself! You can work on a solution later, first get yourself out of this shit! If you have no money: start walking and concentrate on the interaction with your environment. Try to see people in need, help them with small things. Watch the movie "Forrest Gump" if you can, he walked for years just because he felt like it! If responsibilities tie you to your home: fine, let it be little children, take them to a park. Bottom line is: not doing anything and making up excuses why nothing can be done is PART of your depression. Try to recognise that, and get out of your comfort zone as soon as possible!

Exercise nine: creating your own Paradise

2008-11-29T12:48:00.009+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Exercise 9: creating your own Paradise

This exercise is based on the technique of visualisation. Just try it once or twice, and if you like it, do it whenever you like. It is useful for creating a peaceful, happy mood. You need to be able to envision a picture of a beautiful place in your mind, with your eyes closed.

If you find it hard to envision such a place, use any book or go on the net and use a search-engine and find some images of beautiful places. Personally, I love to look at the pictures by Matthieu Ricard, but any picture that you find irresistibly beautiful will do. Look at these pictures until you feel you will be able to create a similar picture in your head with your eyes closed.
Maybe you’ll find it hard to concentrate, if so: first do the simple breathing exercise described in exercise 3.
After that, again look at some pictures until you’re ready.
Some suggestions: The Medicine Buddha Mantra, The most beautiful places in the world, Beautiful nature.

OK, when you’re ready, Sit down in a comfortable position. Straight spine, head straight up, as if a thread comes from your crown-chakra and pulls you up. Close your eyes. Picture in your mind a beautiful, natural place. It doesn’t matter whether that place exists, or not.

Now see yourself sitting there. See yourself sitting in deep meditation. Probably you see yourself sitting in Lotus position, but sitting straight up with your back supported by a tree is also great. Look at yourself. Your face is so bright. It is full of joy, peace, beauty. Look around you. All kinds of animals like to be around you. Butterflies. Deer. Bears. And there’s no aggression in any of them, they are also full of joy just because they can be around you. There’s nothing negative or black here! Look further. Look at the forest or mountains in the distance. Look at the ocean, whatever is in your picture. Breath in deeply. Let go. Enjoy!

A beautiful rainbow is now forming right above your head. Try to see it as clearly as possible! There’s only light, love, relaxation, loving kindness, compassion. Now in the distance some children may be playing. Watch them. Enjoy.

If you start to feel completely relaxed, and a wonderful, warm, loving feeling is rising in your chest, imagine this: A sphere of white light is in your chest. It expands rapidly. In just seconds it envelopes the whole globe. And more spheres like that rise in your chest. What you are doing, is expanding your feeling of relaxation and love. Wooosh, let that energy expand from your chest. And again! And again! More! More! It is not possible to exaggerate this! Do it! Go for it!

The trap in trying to better your life

2008-11-28T14:57:00.008+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

One of the traps that you might encounter when you start doing meditation, mindfulness exercises, changing your thinking patterns etcetera, is the following: You may start to realise that you judge other people ànd yourself, quite harshly. You may start to realise that deep down, you’re not such a good friend to others ànd yourself as you always imagined you would be. You may find that there’s a lot of anger, egocentricity, jealousy, pride, hunger for bliss and (sexual) fulfilment inside of you, which really makes you want to push all others aside without any consideration for their feelings. As long as you get your satisfaction. This way of putting it may sound a little exacerbated for most of you, but there is a dark side in all of us!

It takes a lot of courage to stay with these things. Not to walk away from them. Not trying to change them into something else. Seeing things for what they are, and just staying with them, so your learning process can really start. If you do not allow your anger and the reasons for it arising to be examined, how do you expect to get the full benefit of learning how to deal with these forces in your mind? You just do not want them to be there, that is the whole problem to begin with!

Fact is, you will not always be able to allow these dark sides of your persona to manifest fully in the open. It is not called your subconscious for no reason at all. You will run away from your negative traits at times. You will suppress them at times, you will try to drink/smoke/snort/meditate/yoga or think them away from time to time.

There’s a big trap in here. You can either accept that your process is not perfect, or you can make your process another reason for feeling resentment and disapproval for yourself. Also, you can either try to fight the facts that all human beings are going through a lengthy, faulty, troublesome journey which provokes them to big mistakes from time to time, or you can try to accept them for what they are. You can fool yourself, but really, are you without fault? Is there no ignorance, greed, jealousy, dishonesty or anger inside you? So you have attained Buddhahood already? Then answer these questions honestly: how come you feel so depressed or apathetic sometimes? How come other people have a problem with you from time to time?

The trap is, that trying to change your life for the better, can turn into a fight and another reason for discontentment itself.
It seems that the first thing you should focus on, is not loving yourself, others, the world or anything in it. The first thing you should try to see with some acceptance, warmth, gentleness and love, is the process of life itself. Try to accept that this process is not perfect, and similarly, you are not perfect. Life is not the way you want it to be, and it will never be the way you want it to be. Life has its own beauty. It helps a little if you try to accept that your life sometimes seems like a harsh, lengthy process, even though in reality it is very short. You are just not able to let go of your ego today!

Confucius said: “A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.” If you can truly accept this, maybe you will not be completely dishearted when you meet setbacks. When you find it is very hard to change your behaviour. When you find you do everything right but still feel bad.

Being Denied Sex - a different approach to rejection

2008-11-22T11:36:00.007+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

You feel like making out, and you start making hints towards your partner. You try to kiss him. You try to stroke her hair. You even compliment him on doing the dishes, although you feel he doesn’t do enough around the house. You say that you love her dress although you are really not to much interested in the thing, you just want her to take it of and make sweet love to you.

What happens? You significant other half doesn’t feel like it today. She is tired. He is feeling grumpy, he just wants to drink whisky and forget about the failure at work today. She thinks that you are secretly having an affair, and doesn’t feel like giving you anything. He is feeling you are always saying you want to talk more, but it’s always about your feelings, and never about his.

So, what do you see yourself doing in this occasion? What do you see happening? It might just happen, that you do not feel much love and friendship for your partner and friend at that moment. It might just happen, that deep inside, you get angry with this person that is denying you sex after a long day full of challenges. You may notice that the very feeling that it all started out with, wanting to get close to your partner, has now transformed itself into some kind of resentment.

This situation, is the bases for a lot of stress within relationships. It is often the prelude to arguments, bad moods and even fights. So, what is basically happening here, and what can be done about it?

What is basically happening, is that you feel a need. You feel a need for something that is important to you: intimacy. You cherish your important self, and feel that is would be unfair if your hunger is not satisfied. What is happening, is you forgetting about the other person that is there. You are loosing yourself in self cherishing thought. You are spending energy on pleasing the self you think is there inside you.

Let’s see what could happen if you would try to forget about your own important self.

Let’s go back. You sincerely tried to seduce your partner. You’ve tried to make it absolutely clear that you feel like enjoying some intimate pleasures. What happened? Your love didn’t respond the way you like. Now, instead of spending lots of energy on your feeling of disappointment, you decide another approach. First, you just look at these nasty feeling that you have. You see them for what they are: just electrical storms in neurons. Just the result of self cherishing thought, delusional thoughts that are based on the false assumption that you are more important than anybody or just somebody else. Look at these feelings, and do not elaborate on them. Do not deny them there place, do not fight them, but also refuse to throw more wood on this fire. Do not allow thoughts that kindle these flames, nor allow thoughts that try to extinguish this fire. What will happen, is that after a while, mostly just a matter of minutes, this feeling starts to subside. Why? Because that feeling is not something real. It is not an entity. It has no real existence of its own. It is only a fluctuation in energy. If it’s not suppressed nor fed, it ceases to exist altogether.

Now suppose you succeed in letting go of these nasty thoughts. Still, that doesn’t solve the issue: you felt like some steaming love, and you’re unable to get it. Well, the way to get it is certainly not trying to grab it, hold on to it and drag it in. That’s cavemen’s style!

The way to get it, is patience. It will happen to you, but maybe not just now. Is that really that bad? Tomorrow it may happen twice, but chances for that are small if you start an argument! And because it is not happening now, there is a much better opportunity for you here!
Obviously, your partner is not feeling like sharing intimacy with you. So, it might just be that something in your friends life, is blocking this form of interaction. It may be, that he or she is not feeling so well. It may be that he’s tired. It may be that she’s feeling disappointed or insecure about something. It may be that he’s sad. It may be that she’s angry about something. And since you’re not getting any at the moment, both your hands are free to give this person the love they need to get through the rough times in life. If you succeed in letting go of being so fond of yourself and what you whish for your own self, your lovely ego, you can spend the same energy that you wanted to spend on some love-making, on being a really good friend. On just being available for her. On just listening to him. On doing something you know that she loves you to get done, some chore, anything. On giving him a backrub without demanding something for yourself. On massaging her feet and serving her a good glass of wine and some beautiful French cheese.

You see, you can spend an enormous amount of energy on trying to force out of life and other sentient beings what you want for yourself. But by demanding things, you want to have bread without first planting corn. You want to relax before the things that need to be done are done. It seems, that in life things do not work like that! It seems that by giving you open the door to receiving. By diminishing your own ego, your own important self, that is, by not allowing yourself to go into self-cherishing thoughts, you open the door to being important to other people.

If you expect that you will become loved by other people after you succeed in impressing them, manipulating them, demanding things from them, how come it doesn’t work the other way around? Do you love people because they obtain success for themselves? Do you love people because they tell you what to do? Do you love people because they constantly want you to satisfy their needs? Think about this!

Exercise eight: Illusions!

2008-11-17T10:50:00.005+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

"If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?" - Shantideva

Try to realise that the Now is sharp as a needle. It is infinitely small. There’s no beginning and no end to the Now. You could say: the past is the beginning of the Now, and the future is the End of the Now. But both the past and the future do not exist in the Now. If either or both of them would exist in the Now, there would be innumerable copies of everything; your body as it was a split second ago, and your body as it is Now. One can easily verify that this is not the case. Therefore, it is quite safe to conclude that the past and the future do not exist; only the Now exists. So, how can anything that does not exist be the beginning of anything? And how can something that does not exist be the end of anything? Let alone be the beginning or the end of Reality itself?

So, in conclusion, the Now does not have a beginning, nor does it have an end. It just IS. However, it is senseless to say that it is, because you can only say that something IS, if it has permanent qualities. And the Now does not have any permanent qualities. It continuously ceases to be. That also holds up for everything that is in the Now. The you of a split second ago just died!
The now is continually renewed. We perceive that as time. But in fact, time is a concept of the mind. Time does not exist in the Now. Because if time was to exist in the Now, the past and the future would also have to be real entities, which they are not. Past and future are entities made up by the mind.
The mind only exists, based on the concept of time. All assumptions of the mind are based on the basic concept of a past and future that exist in Reality. However, that basic concept is false, it is only an illusion. Therefore, the mind is an illusion itself.
If the mind is an illusion, all concepts held by the mind are illusions! So suffering and happiness are completely illusionary! So, why worry?

The Heart Sutra

2008-11-15T20:17:00.009+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

This is the teaching of one of the students of Buddha Gautama - Avalokitshvara - on emptiness.
This text is usually chanted rhythmically. When chanted in buddhist ceremonies, even drums are used. But it can also be put to nice music, as in this example.
Also, you can watch me read it for you on youtube.
The meaning is not easily explained. It is said that if you chant/read this sutra regularly, the meaning comes to you automatically.

The core concept that is taught in this sutra, is emptiness. We humans tend to see ourselves and everything around us, as permanent entities. When we feel bad about something, it is usually due to the fact that we assign qualities to things, people, situations and emotions, that in reality these things do not have. You say: that is a bad person. However, this "person" is just a collection of flesh and bones. It has a collection of cells we label as a brain. This brain runs a process that we call the mind, which assigns qualities to things which we categorise as either "good" or "bad" qualities. In reality, the concepts good and bad are labels that only exist in the mind! They are illusions, things that have no intrinsic reality of their own. They only exist in the mind, not on this planet.

To you, a wooden board with four legs is a table. To a termite it is dinner. To a caveman it is firewood, and to an alien, it is the weirdest object they've ever seen.
So, what you think is really a table, has no tableness of its own. It is only a table to you, because you assign that quality to this object. What is REALLY there, is "something" that is the result of sunshine, CO2, plants, human labour and a concept created in someone’s mind (also called: an invention). In the end, all these things only exist as a result of what was there before, so nothing has any reality of its own. Everything only "exists" as a result of what has happened before. So, reality is an ever changing now, with energy that reforms itself continually! It is not the permanent thing we keep it for! The truth about all things, is that what is in the now, was something else in the moment before now. And it will be something else in the moment after now. The atoms will not be in the same place they used to occupy in the previous moment. So, you say: this is a table. But while you said that, the "object" you are referring to, has undergone innumerable changes. It is not the same it was just a moment ago. This is the reason things first look new, then wear off, and in the end break. This is also the reason we get born, grow older and in the end die. The pattern change follows may have some predictability, but even this pattern is not a permanent thing.

Because you are afraid to die and loose things, you create an ego that tries to overcome the perishing nature of reality by clinging to things and trying to keep them into existance. There's a lot of happiness that you can obtain if you start realising that this clinging is just a thought proces. So, the clinging has no clingingness of its own. It is only a concept, an idea in your mind. Even the fear that creates the clinging, is nothing more than an illusion!

When you're angry, in reality, your anger has no substance. It is not something you can hold in your hand, neither does it really exist anywhere in the Universe. I cannot give you my anger, and I cannot receive your anger, only its consequences. You are making up your anger, because your also illusory ego feels threatened by reality (because it cannot influence reality as it wishes). So, your anger is just the result of your believe in the intrinsic reality of your own being. The "you" that "you" think of as real, is a concept in "your" mind. In reality, there is just a collection of bones, some organs, muscles, skin and hair. And there's a continually ongoing process of thoughts that are created by a specific collection of nerve cells in the organ we call the brain. So, where is that "you"? Is it in your body? Is it that ongoing thought proces? Think about it!

If you can realise the "truth" in this, bad emotions do not have so much power anymore, they will not rule your behaviour as badly as they do when you assign them qualities of inherent existence.

What this blog is NOT about

2008-11-14T20:55:00.003+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Many people associate happiness with having a party, so they like to find information on party supplies. You are not going to find any on Happy Minds!

Others want to increase their happiness by buying a new notebook, a fancy car like a Mercedes Benz, a BMW, an AUDI. Well, again, you are not going to find much of that on Happy minds.

Happy Minds will not offer you free Anti-virus Software, free e-books, free games or free online poker.

So, what is Happy Minds about? Well... Stick around, read some of the postings, and find out what could be much more valuable than all those things together. Happy reading!

Teaching by His Holiness the Dalai Lama

2008-11-14T18:27:00.005+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

The Dalai Lama explains in this teaching the four noble truths. I think just watching this man already adds to your happiness, so: take your time and listen to this revered spiritual master.

here you find part two of this teaching, here part 3, and here part 4.

Exercise seven: Do something nice

2008-11-13T17:54:00.009+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

This exercise is based on the Tibetan practice of Tonglen. I like to keep Tonglen practically, so it really changes your life and is not just some collection of lovely thoughts.

So here's the exercise:
Do something nice for somebody today. And do it for somebody you do not like at all. And do it without expecting anything in return. Do not even expect the interaction you have with this person to improve. At least try it, and carefully notice how you feel. If you cannot do it at the moment supreme, do something nice for yourself. That is: see that you have found one of the reasons that keep you from feeling true compassion. Give yourself the present of not judging yourself for not being able to do it, of welcoming your resistance to the act.
Why? Isn't that a stupid thing to do?

I'll give you some reasons why.

First of all, because we're all just human beings. Look at this smiling baby. We have all been like that. We have changed, but in our core, we are all still like that. We've learned, we've grown, but our DNA has remained the same!

And the person you dislike today could be your friend tomorrow, next year or in your next life. Resentment has never made anybody happy. The past is the past, it can never be changed. The future however, can be very different from the past, but only if you want it to be different. If you do something nice for a person you dislike, it may well be that in the future, you will not have such feelings of loathing and hatred against him or her.

Ask yourself this question: do you really like having these negative feelings? Don't you prefer love, kindness and friendship? If the latter has your preference, why don't you act accordingly? You can never change anybody else but yourself. You do not have to accept bad behaviour by others, but it is also not your "task" to correct, punish or hate them.

To me, this is what Jesus was referring to when he said: You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

—Matthew 5:38-42, NIV

I think it means that you refuse to allow negativity to flood your consiousness, even when facing people who are not treating you right.
When you start fighting back, and allow yourself to have feelings of hatred: no matter the cause, it is you who is responsible. There is nobody else in your mind but you, so it is always you deciding to allow these feelings to arise.

Also read this about tonglen by the hand of Pema Chödrön.

Exercise six: Awakening compassion.

2008-11-12T22:00:00.012+01:00

A very nice exercise!
Being able to feel compassionate for other living beings can bring great happiness! If you are very competitive, if you strive to be the best, if you feel that others are stupid and blocking your progress, you are trying to achieve happiness by forcing the world to be what you think it should be. If you win, you feel great, but someone else looses and feels bad. And next time that someone may be you! If you feel that others are stupid, you are blocking kindness, good relations and you are cultivating feelings of pride and hatred. These feeling may not feel that bad sometimes, but they've never made anybody genuinely happy.
Loving kindness, compassion, friendship, those things DO have potential to make people happy. So if you do this exercise, you are opening your heart and allowing compassion to grow in it.

First, let me explain something about the mantra you are going to use here. Om mani padme hung is a very old mantra, used in Buddhism. It is the mantra of the Boddhisatva of Compassion: Avalokiteshvara, or in Tibetan: Chenrezig.

Avalokiteshvara is one of the students close to Buddha Gautama. He vows during his life, not to reach enlightenment himself, before he frees all living beings in all realms of samsara of their suffering. Despite strenuous effort, he realizes that still many unhappy beings were yet to be saved. After struggling to comprehend the needs of so many, his head splits into eleven pieces. Amitabha Buddha, seeing his plight, gives him eleven heads with which to hear the cries of the suffering. Upon hearing these cries and comprehending them, Avalokiteśvara attempts to reach out to all those who needed aid, but found that his two arms shattered into pieces. Once more, Amitabha comes to his aid and invests him with a thousand arms with which to aid the suffering multitudes.

So actually, one could say that Avalokiteshvara is the archetype of a compassionate being.

Om mani padme hung is often pronounced as Om mani peme hung, which is the Tibetan way of pronunciation of this mantra. It should not be translated literally. It is said to contain all the teachings of the Buddha. When you recite this mantra, it is said to be very beneficial. I've experienced that this is true, the mantra helps to awaken compassion.

Read more information on these subjects here.

Let's start with the exercise!
Just sit in meditation posture, or on a good chair that allows you to keep your back straight.

Focus your eyes at a point just 1 meter before you, preferably on the floor. An image of Chenrezig (Avalokiteshvara) is also good. Just notice how you feel. Notice your breathing, notice any pain or discomfort in your body. Do not elaborate on these things, just be aware. For ten minutes, just sit like this. Keep your head up straight, in line with your spine, and just sit. If a thought comes into your head, do not elaborate on that thought. For example, you start thinking:
"Oh, I have to remember to do the dishes, and what was it that I had to buy in the..." Stop, your thinking. Just stop the thought dead in its tracks. Your not sitting here in order to listen to your own chit chatter. Just focus on your breathing and body again.
After ten minutes or so, you will notice that your mind starts to quiet down. The train of thoughts will go slower and slower. At a certain point, you may start to notice "voids", moments not filled with any thought. Only awareness. If you start to feel more relaxed, you're ready for the exercise.

Keep sitting in the same posture. Put two fingers on your stomach, slide upward until you feel your breastbone. Go two fingers up until you touch your breastbone just below your heart. Keep your fingers there. Just apply enough pressure to feel your fingertips and breastbone well. Focus on this area. After a couple of minutes, remove your fingers, but keep your attention on this spot. If your mind starts to dwell, if you start having thoughts, don't do anything else but bringing your focus back to that point where your fingers have just been.
Say in your head "Om mani padme hung". Say the syllables slowly. Allow empty spaces to fall between the words. Think of the mantra again. And again. If it gets softer or louder, that is all OK. If you want to change the pace of saying the mantra, make it faster or even slower: that is fine.
Now after a couple of mantras, think of someone you really love. Think of something bad that has happened to this friend, or that might happen to him/her. See it as clearly in your mind as possible. Notice how you feel. Notice how a natural feeling of wanting to protect that person from such harm comes up. Probably it is located in your chest, at the same point you held your fingers. Focus on that feeling. Repeat the mantra: Om mani padme hum. Focus again on that feeling. If you cannot feel it anymore, again picture in your mind something bad happening to people you love. Feel how you want to prevent them from being hurt, from feeling bad. How much love you feel for them, how badly you want them just to feel happy. Make this feeling stronger, stronger, stronger. If it gets hard, repeat the mantra until you feel comfortable again. Now if you succeed in making this feeling very strong, think of all the living beings on this planet. Think of how all of them suffer. Send this same feeling of compassion to them. Embrace them with your love, give them your protection. Shelter them in your heart.
Do this exercise for at least ten minutes every day, and increase the time you spend on it if it feels good for you. It is very important that during the day, you try to feel that compassion again, when dealing with other living beings (people, animals, plants). Be kind to them. Protect them from harm. You may not succeed in doing that all the time. You may even harm other beings. Do not punish yourself or give up! Remember Avalokiteshvara, there is so much suffering in this world that his head split in eleven pieces! You don't have to be perfect like him, just try to be like that sometimes. With practice, you'll find that more and more compassion comes into your heart naturally.

Pema Chödrön: expert on happiness

2008-11-10T13:21:00.000+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Some things are better explained by an expert. Please take some time to watch this video where Pema Chödrön explains some things about developing unconditional friendship with yourself. More by Pema Chödrön. By developing unconditional friendship with ourselves, we learn to abide with our own energy and overcome fear of that which is unfamiliar. In doing so, we also see our "sameness" with others, that we are all in the same boat. Practicing this further, we develop the unconditional ability to stand in others' shoes, not causing harm, and opening our hearts for others. Excerpted from talk 2 of Pema Chödrön's weekend retreat, A131: All in the Same Boat, May 2008. From Great Path Tapes and Books. gptapes@aol.com. These talks are also available on audio CD and MP3 CD.

The Maitreya Buddha Project

2008-11-10T12:47:00.001+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Love, kindness, friendship. Good healthcare and education. Beauty, preservation of values and culture. Those are all things that can be found in the Maitreya Project. This is a fantastic opportunity to create a lot of happiness for yourself and all other people in the world, by just giving some of your attention and a little money to this project!

Happy Minds Forum!

2008-11-09T14:48:00.000+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

In order to facilitate any need for discussion you might feel, a Happy Minds forum has opened it’s doors for you today! Feel free to visit and leave your remarks!

Exercize five: just enjoy

2008-11-09T02:40:00.001+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

This exercise is easy and if you enjoy it as much as I do, it will give you great happiness!

Just visit this site: http://www.photoby.fr/THE-PHOTOGRAPHERS-Matthieu-Ricard/c91_177/index.html

And watch the photos made by Matthieu Ricard. Just enjoy.
If possible, select one photo and buy it. It may give you great joy to own such a beautiful picture, and look at it every day. And the money is well spend; Matthieu donates most of his earnings to the charity organisation karuna shechen (http://karuna-shechen.org/), an organisation involved in charity projects all over Nepal.

Exercise four: doing chores

2008-11-08T23:11:00.000+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

This particular exercise may seem very simple at first glance, but if you do it right, you will find that it is not that easy to do!

The object of this exercise, is to practice humility. You may wonder: why should I practice humility, I thought this was a blog on happiness?
Well, let me tell you a little - true - story to illustrate why I think that practicing humility can bring about a lot of happiness.
It is about a young woman who had a good job in a respectable company. In the department she worked for, most people worked hard and were pleasant coworkers. The head of department decided to buy a fridge, that all employees could share to keep their drinks and food nice and cool. Everybody was happy with this initiative, and as soon as the fridge arrived, it was used from top to bottom. Of course, with such extensive use, the machine soon got very dirty inside. The cleaning lady employed in this company cleaned the outside, but she made it clear that she wasn't going to clean out that fridge on the inside. So what happened: the fridge went from being an appreciated luxury that all enjoyed, to an annoyance to all who worked in that department. The result was endless discussions, and even fights about this tedious task that nobody felt like doing.
One night, the young woman had worked all day and even a little longer then usual. All her coworkers had left for home already. She decided that she was not going to listen to anymore complaining about the stupid fridge any longer. So she got a sponge, a bucket of luke-warm water and some soap, and spent an hour on emptying, cleaning and refilling the fridge. After she was done, she felt very good about herself. She thought it best not to tell anybody that she had performed this task, for she didn't like to be the centre of attention. In stead, she put up a message on the fridge: "Complaints and irritation about the dirt inside have cost us days. Cleaning it took me exactly 1 hour." She went home wisteling, thinking happily of all the suprised faces of her coworkers.
On seeing the fruit of "anonymous" labour, everybody was happy the next day. But also, some people felt a little ashamed because they had not taken the initiative themselves, and instead just spend their time complaining. After that occurence, the fridge was cleaned regularly. No discussion was needed, every time it became necessary, someone else felt responsible enough to start cleaning. And as a little bonus, every time somebody cleaned it, they didn't tell anybody it was them, but instead left a humorous note on the door of the fridge.

So, if you practice a little humility, you can increase your happiness, and the happiness of the people around you, sometimes a lot with fairly little effort!

Now here's the exercise: this week, act at least once like the woman in this story. Do some chore that all your coworkers/family members/fellow citizens are anxiously avoiding. Clean something, water all plants, finish a nasty project. Go to a parc near your house and (carefully!) get rid of the junk there, put used needles left by junkies in a glass jar, so no children or animals can hurt themselves on them. Try to do this without taking any credit for it. If anybody sees you doing this exercise and compliments you, tell them that it's just your job. If you start doing this in order to receive compliments, the exercise is on getting a bigger ego, not on practicing humility.
While doing this exercise, watch your feelings carefully. If you start having thoughts like: I am crazy for doing this, nobody does this, why should I do it? Then start to realise that the reason this chore has not been done yet, is not because it is not worth doing it, but because many people have to big an ego to do it. You are showing yourself that you can do without that big ego. And that's one big step on the road to happiness!

If you like doing this exercise, take it one step further! A little addition for the "more advanced users"! ;-)
Lets say you have cleaned the department-fridge, like the woman in the story. Now next time you are spending some time chatting with a college you like, you can say very casualy: "By the way, I noticed somebody cleaned out the fridge. I am happy someone has done that. I think it must have been Leo who has done it, he's always very helpful" (where of course the name Leo has to be substituted by the name of one of your co-workers). Giving someone else credit for something you've actually done, that is humility training for the advanced!

Exercise three: appreciating small things

2008-11-08T09:38:00.000+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

The purpose of this exercise, is to train your ability to enjoy the beauty of small things. It may sound a bit strange to you, training something that you do a lot already.
Paying attention to small, but nonetheless beautiful things comes and goes naturally, because everybody has a natural appetite for enjoying life. However, if your mind is kept very busy with everyday’s problems and obligations, your brain may sometimes be too busy, and that sometimes leaves little room for some joy. Therefore, this exercise is in a way instructing your brain to pay more attention to details, to small things that do not require anything more than your attention in order to bring you some happiness.

You need a quiet, comfortable place to sit with sufficient lighting in order to see what you’re doing. Also, you need something that you really like. It can be a flower, a piece of jewellery, a piece of crystal, a model car or a small musical instrument. It really doesn't matter very much what it is, as long as it fits on the palm of your hand, without being too heavy for you to hold it for a while. The object that you use, is of no importance by itself! Try to enjoy it, without getting attached to it. In fact, after completing the exercise, give the object to somebody. If you find it hard not to expect anything in return, try giving it anonymously.

Before you start this exercise, you need to relax a little, so you will be able to focus. In order to relax: here’s a simple breathing exercise:

Sit on your chair in a comfortable position. Breath quietly through your nose. Try to fix your attention on your breathing. Fix your attention on feeling the air pass through your nostrils and on your chest expanding and falling back. Probably, all kinds of distracting ideas and thoughts will pop into your head. Just observe that. Do not fight it, just let it be. The only thing you’ll do, is bringing your focus back to your breathing every time you notice your mind has wandered again.
If you sit like this for 5-10 minutes, you may start to notice that your muscles relax and your stream of thoughts starts to slow.

When it’s enough for you, you’re ready to start!

While still sitting in a comfortable position, take the object that you have selected for this exercise, and keep it in the palm of your hand. Don’t squeeze it, hold it loosely on top of your palm. Gaze at the object you’re holding with your eyes half open. Again, thoughts will come into your head automatically. Do not get annoyed by that, just observe, and do not elaborate on your thoughts. For example, you may think: Oh, I will have to tell my brother later today that I am still angry about… Stop… you’re thinking. Just stop that thought and focus again on the object you’re holding. Keep looking at it. Just observe the object. Its colour, shape, texture, weight, temperature. If you need to, touch the object with the fingers of your other hand. Do this for at least 5 minutes, preferably 10. After it’s enough for you, start thinking about this object. What have you seen? What is it you like about this object? Why is it beautiful to you? Do you like its texture, colour, shape, weight, temperature? Be very specific, do this carefully. If you feel you’ve contemplated all possible aspects of your object, spend some time just sitting with your eyes closed. Notice how you feel. Notice how you feel about the object you have just studied.
After doing this exercise, it is very important you present the object you have focussed on to somebody as a gift. Give it to them anonymously, without expecting anything in return.

If you do this exercise regularly, you may start to notice that you have more appreciation of small things. The purpose of this exercise, is to create a state of mind that allows you to appreciate beauty more easily.

Exercize two: Realizing what is happiness

2008-11-07T15:30:00.001+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

Again, an easy exercise. Just contemplate a little about the nature of happiness. If you would like more of it, you’ve got to know what it is that you want!

First of all, write down your ideas about happiness. What do you think it is? What do you think it depends on? On what or whom is your happiness depending?
Do you think happiness is equal to pleasure?
Do you think happiness is equal to joy?
Do you think happiness depends on circumstances, or is it a quality of the mind?

You can ask yourself many questions, just try to answer them sincerely.

After completing your story on happiness, review it and ask yourself :
Is my happiness dependent on things that I can control?
You cannot control material things for 100%. Money gets spend, stolen, lost, objects break, burn, loose their colour, fragrance, form and value. Also, it is impossible to control other people entirely. You cannot completely prevent that sometimes they do something bad to you, like cheating, stealing, lying, gossiping, leaving you, etcetera. And you can also not completely prevent other people from getting sick or dying. We all do bad things sometimes. We all get sick sometimes. We all die at one time. That is life. You can fight these facts of life, but it is a battle you will never win. It is like trying to wrestle a mountain, you will never throw it over. A lot of happiness can be derived from trying to accept these facts!

If your happiness depends on things that you cannot control, it seems your suffering is imminent. The question is not whether you will experience setbacks, the question is when you will experience them!

So, does that mean it is impossible to be happy at all? Is happiness only possible in those (brief) moments that all seems to work in your life? Well, for as long as you think it depends entirely on things that are not in your sphere of influence, that is reality. You will only feel happy for as long as it lasts!

Is there nothing you can do to prevent your happiness from breaking apart? Well, let me tell you a little story about two men who both had it all. They lived in the same age, and both owned a private island in the pacific ocean, not far from one another. Both of them ran their own little empire and both were God-Emperor of all people who lived on their respective islands. All they wished for was possible.

The first one was a Tyrant, an ice-cold psychopath. He killed people who did not obey his every command. He made love to any woman he found attractive, but in such a violent way that all would die after just one night in his presence.
One day, a big volcano on a nearby island erupted and destroyed his island. He had to flee it in an old boat with ten of his most loyal subjects. So what did he have left? A leaky boat, and ten people who feared him tremendously. They tried to toss him overboard at any occasion they saw fit. Soon he was killed and his body fed to the sharks.

The other man was a great man, a true Gentleman. He went to great lengths in order to help his subjects with their ordeals, he tried to listen to them whenever possible and he spend all his time trying to make them as happy as possible. He too had to flee his island when the volcano exploded, using an old ship with ten of his most loyal subjects. Ten people who were willing to do anything to protect his life, who enjoyed his company, who shared with him whatever they had. They sailed the seas for a long time, and in the end found a new island to start over. This man died at an old age surrounded by his loved ones.

So, look closely at all the things that you have. Do you have a warm house to live in? Do you have good food to eat? Do you have friends and family to share time with? Look at your little kingdom, and then take a good look at yourself. Are you like the Tyrant who had nothing left when the volcano erupted, or are you like the Gentleman who devoted all his time to the happiness of his loved ones?
Probably, you are like neither one of them. So, when something in your kingdom goes wrong, not all happiness will evade you. However, from this story you could see, that how much happiness you will find in your life, does not depend on how lucky you will get. It depends on the choices that you make. If you decide to devote your time on making people happy, it is unlikely that you will not be able to find any love, kindness, friendship and happiness at all. But if you spend all your time on pleasing yourself, it is far from certain that you will obtain any of these things. If you are obsessed with finding the right job, the right partner, more money, more status, more power, the perfect house, getting and staying healthy, etcetera, etcetera, you will be like the Tyrant who only cared about himself. So, if you want happiness to happen to you, make it happen for the ones around you! Not because you want something from them, but because you want happiness to come into your life.

Exercize one: Relativity

2008-11-07T14:46:00.000+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

This first exercise is very easy, it will just take a little time, no more then 20 minutes.
First, watch these youtube videos with an open mind. Try not to think to much, just sit back and watch.
http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=lwwioJhQzeg
http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy7FIfW5bZY&feature=related

Now, you have seen the planet we are living on, our beautiful planet earth. And you’ve seen some examples of the incredible Universe that our planet is floating in. Personally, watching these images leaves me in great awe. The colours, the mere size of it! The way the light reflects of the surface of our planet: it makes me think of sapphire and emerald gemstones. Maybe we can never reach the stars that you’ve just seen, but aren’t they amazing? Just thinking of this gives me some happiness.

Now, here’s the exercise: just sit, close your eyes, and spend some time realizing that you are part of this all. You are part of this wonder. You live on this gemstone-coloured planet. You may have sorrows, you may feel unhappy. No matter how bad it is, realize that your problems will pass. It may take longer then you want, but they will pass. However, the Universe, with all it’s grandiose beauty, will always be there. No matter what you will loose in this lifetime, no matter what happens to you, this wondrous place will always exist.
Also try to realize how small you are compared to this all. You are just one person out of more then 6 billion people on this planet. And if you are small, that means that also your problems are small. They may look big to you, but in reality the entire you is not even a dust spec in this endless Universe. That means you can relax a little, doesn’t it?
After quietly contemplating this for a while, whenever you feel trouble overwhelms you, just go back to these wonderful images. Enjoy! Relax!

Happiness

2008-11-06T23:10:00.000+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

What is happiness? There are more than 6 billion people on this planet, and countless more animals. All have a unique way of perceiving happiness. Your feeling of happiness is structurally different from the way I perceive it. This is inherent to the fact that our genetics, brain, body and life experiences differ. Therefore, the things that make you feel happy are probably also different from the things that make me feel happy.

So, what is the point of creating this blog? If the factors that make a living being happy are different, and even the feeling of happiness differs structurally between living beings, then this blog can only be of very limited value. Well, yes and no. It is only of as much value as anyone reading it gives to it. If you are very critical of the content, probably you’ll be able to find many things to criticize. But if you are open minded, visiting this blog may help you (a little bit) to discover what happiness means to you. If you have never tasted grapes, how do you know you like or dislike them? In the same way, “tasting” some of the exercises on this blog may help you to find out whether the kind of thinking that exercise represents, suits you.

Happiness!

2008-11-05T15:46:00.000+01:00

Posted on Happy Minds!

I was inspired to create this blog by my friend Erik Baaijens, who has a blog "In balans met onrust", on http://in-balans-met-onrust.blogspot.com/. It is in Dutch, so if you can read that language, do visit his blog!

I decided to create a blog on the specific subject of happiness, because of what I read in the book by Mathieu Ricard: "Happiness". On youtube, you can see him talking about happiness: http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=vbLEf4HR74E

I will try to post all I have found out on obtaining happiness, but any tip you may have: please do send it to me! If it is respectful and not yet on my blog somewhere, I will post it!